I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
