that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
