she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
