I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
