Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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