So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
