marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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