we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
