you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
