I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
