I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize