Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
No subtext here. People are naked.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
