why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
