did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
