the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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