I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize