Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
