Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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