It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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