I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
my poor anus
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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