Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
