Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
