Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
high people should be assigned attendants
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize