I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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