so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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