It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Everclear isn't food dammit
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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