GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
