he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize