i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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