Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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