did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
