we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
