i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I currently don't understand fingers.
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