the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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