ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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