And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
