I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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