we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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