I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
