theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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