hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
