my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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