So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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