nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
