my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
