the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
