yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize