I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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