She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
