I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i just had sex bonerless
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize