I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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