You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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