The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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