Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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