just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize