How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
