There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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