we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
