Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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